Work-Life Balance for Veterinarians: Boundaries, Balance, and Parenthood
By Dr Marie Holowaychuk, DVM
When I became a parent in 2020, it wasn’t an accident, a surprise, or a “we’ll figure it out as we go” kind of decision. I became a single mom by choice, using a sperm donor, and it was one of the most thoughtful and intentional processes of my life.
For years beforehand, I asked myself a simple but powerful question: What would my life actually look like if I were raising a child on my own? The honest answer was that some things would have to change.
At the time, my career involved long ICU shifts, frequent travel for speaking engagements, retreats in the mountains, and a schedule that often stretched well beyond what most people would consider reasonable. I loved my work. I still do. But I knew that the version of veterinary medicine I was practicing then wasn’t compatible with single parenthood. So, before my daughter Bethany was even born, I started setting boundaries.
I shifted my business primarily online, focusing on coaching, consulting, webinars, and programs that I could deliver from home. I structured my days around childcare hours. And once Bethany started daycare, the boundaries became even more concrete. There was a hard pickup time, and a $15 per minute late fee if I didn’t make it. Let me tell you, nothing reinforces boundaries quite like a ticking late fee.
For the first time in my career, I had non-negotiable limits on my time. I couldn’t just stay late to finish a case, answer one more email, or squeeze in one more call. I had to leave. I had someone depending on me, and that forced me to practice the same boundary setting skills I had been teaching other veterinarians for years.
Why Boundaries Matter So Much in Veterinary Medicine
Veterinarians are notorious for struggling with boundaries. I have known countless colleagues who go into work on their days off, follow up with clients from home, or even see animals outside the clinic because a neighbor asked for help.
Many of them feel frustrated and exhausted, but at the same time, they struggle to say no. They worry about disappointing clients or colleagues. They want to be helpful. They want to be kind. So they default to unhealthy boundaries. In the short term, this avoids the discomfort of saying no. But in the long term, it leads to resentment, exhaustion, and burnout.
I learned this the hard way. Years ago, I would give clients my personal cell phone number so they could reach me anytime. I told myself it was easier, more compassionate, and better for the patient. But eventually, the constant texts and calls at all hours became unsustainable. I was always “on,” even when I was technically off.
Now, I set a different expectation. Clients are supported by the hospital, not by my personal phone. There is always a veterinarian available, and I trust the system rather than sacrificing my own wellbeing. That shift didn’t just make me a healthier person. It made me a better veterinarian.
Parenting Creates Built In Boundaries
It has not been easy. Some days, I miss the intensity and camaraderie of long ICU or ER shifts. And as a specialist, it can be challenging to find clinical roles that adapt to rigid parenting obligations. But I also know this stage of life is temporary. My daughter will not always need me in the same way. Right now, she does. And that matters to me.
The Guilt That Comes with Balance
If I am being honest, the guilt never completely goes away. Some days, I am on the road speaking or doing a locum shift, and I feel like I am absolutely rocking my work. I am energized, engaged, and using the skills I have spent years developing. And yet, part of me feels guilty that I am not home with my family.
Other days, I am home with my daughter while she is sick, or spending the weekend shuttling her to activities, and I feel guilty that I am not spending that time growing my business. For a long time, I thought this meant I was not doing something right. That if I could just “figure out balance,” the guilt would disappear. But over time, I have realized something important. These roles are not in competition with each other. I am not either a great mom or a great criticalist. I am both.
Being a parent has made me more empathetic, more efficient, and more present in my clinical work. It has given me a deeper understanding of what families go through when their pets are sick. And being a veterinarian shows my daughter the value of strength, purpose, and career aspirations. The two roles actually support each other.
Mindfulness Over Perfection
The key to balance, in my experience, is not perfection. It is mindfulness. The guilt will likely always be there, because we are human and we care deeply about what we do. But instead of trying to eliminate the guilt, I focus on being fully present in whatever role I am in at the moment.
When I am working, I am immersed in work. I am focused on the patient, the client, or the project in front of me. When I am with my daughter, I am with her. I am not checking emails, mentally planning my next talk, or worrying about my to do list. That presence is what creates a sense of balance. Not a perfectly equal division of time, but a feeling of alignment in each moment.
Building Better Boundaries in Your Own Life
Whether you are a parent or not, boundaries are essential in veterinary medicine. If you are struggling with resentment, exhaustion, or the feeling that work is bleeding into every part of your life, it may be time to reassess your limits. Here are a few principles that have helped me:
1. Give yourself permission.
You are allowed to have time off. You are allowed to disconnect. Setting boundaries is an act of self respect, not selfishness.
2. Know your needs and limits.
How many hours can you realistically work? How many days in a row? What do you need to feel rested and emotionally well?
3. Communicate clearly.
Vague answers invite more requests. Clear, respectful communication sets expectations and reduces misunderstandings.
4. Be consistent.
Boundaries only work if you honor them. If you say you do not answer messages on your days off, then do not answer them.
5. Ask for support.
Tell your family, friends, or colleagues what you are trying to change. Accountability can make a big difference.
A Season, Not a Lifetime
Parenting has forced me to slow down, say no more often, and reimagine what a fulfilling veterinary career looks like. It has not always been comfortable, and it certainly has not been perfect. But it has been meaningful.
This season of life, with school pickups, bedtime routines, and carefully structured work hours, will not last forever. And when I look back, I know I will not regret the boundaries I set to protect it. Because in the end, balance is not about doing everything all at once. It is about being intentional with your time, your energy, and the roles that matter most to you right now.
Dr. Marie Holowaychuk is a veterinarian, wellness advocate, coach, and speaker. She is the author of A Compassionate Calling: What It Really Means to Be a Veterinarian and helps veterinary professionals improve their wellbeing through evidence-based education, practical tools, and self-care strategies. Learn more at RevivingVetMed.com.
FAQs
What is work-life balance for veterinarians?
Work-life balance for veterinarians means setting clear boundaries around time, emotional energy, and availability to prevent burnout while maintaining high-quality patient care.
Why do veterinarians struggle with boundaries?
Many veterinarians feel pressure to always be available to clients and colleagues. This can lead to answering calls off-hours, overworking, and difficulty disconnecting, all of which increase burnout risk.
How can veterinarians prevent burnout?
Preventing veterinary burnout starts with clear communication, realistic scheduling, consistent time off, and limiting after-hours accessibility. Boundaries protect both mental health and career longevity.
Is it possible to be both a veterinarian and a present parent?
Yes. With intentional scheduling, structured work hours, and support systems, many veterinarians successfully balance parenthood and clinical practice.